So Funny! Passing this along! :)

Mrs. Newlywed posted this today and I thought it was so funny I had to share! I took a cue from Mrs. Newlywed and bolded my favorites! Every one is hilarious!

Random thoughts from people 25-35 years old..

-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tellmy own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when yourealize you're wrong.

-I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed tobe going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter toyourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you'recrazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

-That's enough, Nickelback.

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know"feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choosenot to be friends with?

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn'twork? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magicallyfix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we allknow how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boardsor FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

-There is a great need for sarcasm font.

-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.

-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actuallybecomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone'slaughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a littlebit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still theonly one who really, really gets it.

-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand thantake 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clearyour computer history if you die.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to thespread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantrontest is absolutely petrifying.

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams upto prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies" (Except I always think of the most innappropriate word to say, like 'penis' or 'asshole'!!)

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,and you can wear them forever.

- I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu'to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with anoverweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories

-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just gotthe Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind ifI do!

- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspringwould probably just be completely invisible.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to goaround and say their name and where they are from, I get so incrediblynervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't bea problem....

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at workwhen you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don'twant to have to restart my collection.

-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks meif I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that Iswear I did not make any changes to.

- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of peoplewatching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but willthey judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren'twatching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up andleave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times andgoes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phoneand run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something shehasn't already told me but that I have learned from some lightinternet stalking.

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle,then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruisingspeed for pedophiles...

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and stillnot know what time it is.

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not toanswer when they call.

-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their carkeys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on theDonkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snoozebutton from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first timeevery time...

-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what wouldhappen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com andthe link takes me to a video instead of text.

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone theydrive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, sawthey had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words,someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to thinkabout it, and then estimated that there must be at least four peopleeating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating bymyself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastardbefore dinner.



AHHH so funny! My absolute favorite is about meeting a new girl and being terrified of revealing that you already know everything about her through Facebook! That is sad how true this is for me! I can't help it, I am a facebook stalker and so is everyone else!!

Need. These. Now.

(I hope I'm not commiting any crime by posting this picture, taken from Style Me Pretty blog, by Jonathan Canlas! Even if I am commiting some crime, it will be worth it to find these gloves!!)

Style Me Pretty had the most perfect wedding the other day and I am completely OBSESSED with the Bridesmaids short lace gloves. I. have. to. have. them. I left a comment on the page hoping someone will tell me where they are from. I keep googling it and it keeps showing me tacky lingerie websites. If anyone knows of where I can order 6 pairs of these gloves I would greatly appreciate it!!!

Also, is it tacky to ask my bridesmaids to pay for that themselves? No offense to anyone that has done this, but I don't want to buy them their accessories and call it a gift, because none of my girls will ever wear lace gloves again. And I already bought them each a nice gift. (Bathrobes with their initials embroidered on it.) If the gloves cost say $10 thats not a lot to an individual, but $60 is a lot to me! What do you all think?

Indian Shores, FL?

So I am still trying to figure out something for our honeymoon and we are thinking about Indian Shores, FL. We really have no basis behind this decision other than we found 2 condos we like that we could rent. Because all of my big decisions I leave up to my blogger friends, (just kidding...kind of) I wanted your alls opinion!

Has anyone vacationed in Indian Shores? Our main requirements are: nice beach, nice condo, good food. I figure we could pretty much get that anywhere, but I thought I'd try for some feedback!

P.S. I just found my dog drinking out of the toilet and he literally ran from me and hid when I caught him. He has a very guilty conscience. So sweet.

Joey and I registered at Target yesterday...and then today I went back alone to register for some things he didnt want. I know, I'm bad.

Did you know?

That you can go to Wendy's and order a cheeseburger with no meat? McDonald's will do it too! They even have a button for it, so that means its not weird!!! This has changed my life!!! (Can you tell I'm a really picky eater?) I've had hamburgers before, but I have to be in the mood for it. If I'm not in the mood I will start thinking about how I am eating an animal and want to throw up.

I went to King's Island today with Joey and some of our friends. Afterwards they all insisted on eating at Wendy's, which I hate. I was about to walk to a gas station when I decided to see if they would make me a burger with no burger. I was so excited when they did and when we got back to town I went to McDonald's bc I was still hungry and they did it too.

On another note, I am turning into an old lady...or maybe even my mother. I wouldnt say I didn't have fun today at King's Island, but I am definitely past the point of wanting to ride all the roller coasters. We rode one (DiamondBack for all of you that have been to King's Island) and the only thing I could think about was what could go wrong. Later the rides had given me such a bad headache that I had to go to first aid and get medicine. After we rode Fear of Flight I was convinced I had a concussion or something and didn't ride anymore rides for the rest of the day. (It was almost the end of the day, so I'm not a total loser!) I also used to loooove scary movies and now I don't have any desire to scare myself to death. I saw a preview for Orphan and I was terrified just from that!

Are any of you all turning into your mothers?! Haha! (Luckily I like my mom!)

Honeymoon Ideas?

Joey and I are trying to plan our honeymoon. I originally wanted an all inclusive resort, but after buying a house I'm not sure that is the smartest decision for our checkbook! Instead we are wanting to go to Florida...but other suggestions are gladly welcome!! We just want to go somewhere on the gulf side that will be warm in October! We are thinking about staying in a condo, and we are looking for one that has a private pool or at least hot tub. Does anyone have suggestions for a town to visit, or place to stay? I always ask all of my blog friends for advice! I love the instant feedback!!

P.S. Still no internet, but hopefully by Friday I will have it and can start blogging again on a regular basis!!! I am finally staying at the house though!

Our Engagement Pictures!!!

I have not posted in forever bc we moved and I didnt have a computer for the longest time!! I will update you all soon but for now I just want to tell everyone to please go look at our

ENGAGEMENT PICTURES!!!!

I am sooo obsessed with them!!

Go to this website:
Engagement Pic Website

Our password is: joey

Do NOT go to Jared's!!!!!

OMG let me tell you!!

Joey bought my engagement ring back in February from Jared's. We looked a lot of places but they had my favorite ring. So Joey bought it. My ring size was we thought a 5 because I of course sized it in the store and that was what seemed to fit on their ring sizer. So we ordered my ring in a 5 and I wore the store ring with a sizer on it waiting for mine to come in. When my size got here it was still too big...like falling off my hand too big. The ring itself fit differently than the sizer in the store. So we ordered a 4.5. Another two months goes by and a "4.5" comes in. Well I put it on AND THE SAME THING HAPPENED! Falling off my hand too big.

A girl I work with used to work in a jewelry store and she looked at it and tried it on and said there was no way it was a 4.5 because she could put it on her finger and she knew she was not a 4.5.

So I go back to Jared's and tell them I don't think this is really a 4.5. They look at it and finally agree with me and send off for the 3rd time to get a 4.5 again, telling me they don't know what happened but they would make sure and put a rush order on it so the real 4.5 would be here as soon as possible.

Let me mention that every time I had to go back in, they would try to convince me to just put a sizer on my ring. No offense to anyone who has a sizer on their ring...but No Thank you!!!

1. They ruin the pretty-ness of the ring.
2. Why in the world would anyone pay this much money for a ring that means this much to have it not fit??? OMG I could scream just talking about the idea.

Well 2 months has gone by again so two days ago I go back to Jared and ask what the status of my ring is. They tell me they aren't sure (Um...really?) and that my ring is being made overseas (which lead me to believe it is a blood diamond) so they would have to wait 24 hours to hear back from their email. They assured me that yes, they could definitely really make my ring into a 4.5, because I was concerned that was why it came in as a 5 when we requested the 4.5. I was worried they made it as small as it could go, hoping I wouldnt notice. (Yeah right!) But this woman swears up and down that it will definitely be made into a 4.5 and gives me this long explanation about how they are creating a mold to make it especially for me blah blah. She says she will personally call my fiance on Thursday to let him know the status of the ring and a better idea of when it will be here.

Thursday comes...and goes. No call.

Friday they call him. She explains that she is worried my ring will NOT be able to go down to a 4.5. Joey said she was really nice and said she was trying as hard as she could to figure it out, but in the meantime there was something called a "butterfly" to put on my ring so it would fit.

I AM GOING TO HAVE A SCREAMING FIT!!! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!

When I first got my ring it had diamonds all along the sides, but underneath it had a line of just the silver. Well since I keep getting my ring sized down, the line of silver keeps getting smaller, so now my ring basically has an eternity band. I think the reason they can't make it smaller is because they are starting to run into diamonds. I don't understand why they can't just take out a few diamond...lower the price...and make it a freaking 4.5?!?! I am going to wait until Joey can go with me and then I am going to raise hell over at Jared!!

Word of warning!! Do not go there! They are nice when you are spending money, and after that they don't care! I hate them!

Anyone know anything about Jared's or have any suggestions? I do not want to get a different ring and I do not want a sizer!!